Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
