This is not my ceiling
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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