dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
