YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
