The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
