Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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