New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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