I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Randomize
