do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
