My sheets look like a crime scene.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
