Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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