May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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