Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
