so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
