Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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