It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
