I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
