Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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