The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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