she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My vagina just recognized that song.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
