he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
