i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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