Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
