dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
This toilet bowl is my home.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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