I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
