I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
