That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
