Do you still have your period?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
