We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
