I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
