North Korea, Best Korea!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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