They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
