No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i think i have herpe
just one?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
