hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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