i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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