did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
