i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
