I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
