He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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