i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
