Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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