mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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