Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
