Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
