is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
