I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
