Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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