They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
