I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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