i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
