new low.... made out with someone while peeing
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We had sex on a dog bed..
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
